Love Is Not A Feeling, It Is A Choice

One of my favorite things to do in music city is go to singer/songwriter nights. I always leave so inspired by the stories, passion and talents of the artist. A few nights ago John Berry shared a story about the song “Your love amazes me”. He talked about how the song “found” him at just the right time in his life after he and his wife had gone through a very difficult season in their relationship. John related that his wife had every reason to walk away from their marriage. The only reason she didn’t call it quits was because  her father in-law told her, “love is not a feeling it is a choice.” John’s wife clung to those words during the hard times and now every time he sings “Your love amazes me” he sings in honor of her, knowing that she chose to love him when he didn’t deserve to be loved.

Love is usually talked about in the context of feelings. You either feel love toward someone or you don’t. The problem with love being a feeling is that feelings fluctuate. One minute you can feel love for someone and as time passes you can have overwhelming feelings of anger, hatred, and disgust toward that same person. When you are arguing do you feel loving? When someone is causing strife in your life do you have feelings of love toward them? When love is defined by feelings, it becomes conditional. It is easy to love someone when they are doing, acting, and treating us as we think they should.  Often you hear people say, “well we just fell out of love” or “the passion and excitement is gone”.  There are hundreds of reasons that feelings of love fade and it is 100% certain that the “loving feeling” will be lost at times in any relationship. Therefore it is critical that love be defined as a choice.

How transformational to start defining love as a choice! What a difference it would make in a marriage, in a family, in society, in our country by simply choosing to love. When we chose to love someone it is unconditional. Choosing to love allows others the freedom to live their truth and be themselves. Choice also allows love to be present when people are not acting “acceptable” or doing what we think they should be doing. You can still love the person even when you don’t love the behavior. Unconditional love means choosing to show love to someone no matter their gender, race, religion, nationality, occupation or social class. Can you choose to love the person who wronged you, the one with differing views, or the one who doesn’t “deserve” to be loved?  Choosing to love is not an easy task. It must be a daily intention and top priority. Wouldn’t  you want others to choose to unconditional love you in the same way?

How amazing it would be if everyone’s priority was to choose love above all else! This choice is innately in our spiritual DNA. However on the earthly plane we easily forget as life happens all around us. The good news is Jesus walked the earth as a man, life happened all around him and yet, he always chose love. He showed us how to love unconditionally in spite of our circumstances. He loved fiercely, passionately and tenderly depending on what each souls need was. Even while he was being crucified his words were of love. “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” We will never be able to love so perfectly but we can strive to love as Jesus did. What would Jesus Do? God grants that same level of love to us every moment of every day. When I hear John sing your love amazes me, my thoughts go to God’s amazing and unconditional love. It frees me to be myself, knowing that no matter what I do His love is always constant and unconditional. I am so grateful He has chosen to love! My goal each day is to love people for no reason. Step into the destiny of your DNA choose to amazingly love yourself and everyone, just because❤️



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