Love Is Not A Feeling, It Is A Choice

One of my favorite things to do in music city is going to singer/songwriter nights. I always leave so inspired by the stories, passion, and talents of the artist. A few nights ago, John Berry shared a story about the song “Your love amazes me.” He talked about how the song “found” him at just the right time in his life after he and his wife had gone through a challenging season in their relationship. John related that his wife had every reason to walk away from their marriage. The only reason she didn’t call it quits was that her father-in-law told her, “love is not a feeling. It is a choice.” John’s wife clung to those words during the hard times, and now every time he sings, “Your love amazes me,” he sings in honor of her, knowing that she chose to love him when he didn’t deserve to be loved.
Love is usually talked about in the context of feelings. You either feel love toward someone, or you don’t. The problem with love being a feeling is that feelings fluctuate. One minute you can feel love for someone, and as time passes, you can have overwhelming feelings of anger, hatred, and disgust toward that same person. When you are arguing, do you feel loving? When someone is causing strife in your life, do you have feelings of love toward them? When feelings define love, it becomes conditional. It is easy to love someone when they are doing, acting, and treating us as we think they should. Often you hear people say, “well, we just fell out of love” or “the passion and excitement are gone.” There are hundreds of reasons that feelings of love fade, and it is 100% certain that the “loving feeling” will be lost at times in any relationship. Therefore love must be defined as a choice.
How transformational to start defining love as a choice! What a difference it would make in a marriage, in a family, in society, in our country by simply choosing to love. When we chose to love someone, it is unconditional. Choosing to love allows others the freedom to live their truth and be themselves. Choice also allows love to be present when people are not acting “acceptable” or doing what we think they should be doing. You can still love the person even when you don’t love the behavior. Unconditional love means choosing to show love to someone regardless of gender, race, religion, nationality, occupation, or social class. Can you choose to love the person who wronged you, the one with differing views, or the one who doesn’t “deserve” to be loved? Choosing to love is not an easy task. It must be a daily intention and top priority. Wouldn’t you want others to choose to the unconditional love you in the same way?
How amazing it would be if everyone’s priority were to choose love above all else! This choice is innately in our spiritual DNA. However, on the earthly plane, we easily forget as life happens all around us. The good news is Jesus walked the earth as a man. Life happened all around him, and yet, he always chose love. He showed us how to love unconditionally despite our circumstances. He loved fiercely, passionately, and tenderly depending on what each soul’s need was. Even while he was being crucified, his words were of love. “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” We will never love so perfectly, but we can strive to love as Jesus did. What would Jesus Do? God grants that same level of love to us every moment of every day. When I hear John sing, your love amazes me; my thoughts go to God’s amazing and unconditional love. It frees me to be myself, knowing that His love is always constant and unconditional no matter what I do. I am so grateful He has chosen to love! My goal each day is to love people for no reason. Step into the destiny of your DNA choose to love yourself amazingly and everyone, just because❤️