I have four kids all in their early twenties. Recently I was visiting with my mentor Twyla when she said, “have you talked to you kids about finding their Divine right mate to ensure a Divine marriage?” My answer was no. I have prayed that they would have good discernment about a mate, when and if they decide to marry. I also told them that God had a plan for their life. However, it never dawned on me to talk about how to know who the Divine right mate is. When I shared Twyla’s comment with my son and his girlfriend they were both like, “well how do you even know?” Off the top of my head, I didn’t have a very clear answer for them. Since that visit I have often thought about how to instruct my kids on recognizing the characteristics of their Divine right mate. Even though I was unaware of such a thing when I was their age, I was blessed enough to unknowingly marry my Divine right mate. Here is what I can share from my personal experience from what I have learned from my marriage and my first love, God.
Most do not consider that the Divine right mate will appear at the Divine right time. Often people make the mistake of choosing a mate for what the person brings to the relationship such as comradery, security, good looks, success and good sex, thinking it all adds up to love and characteristics of a good marriage partner. These are worldly characteristics and are representative of those who are consciously asleep. The Divine right mate is a God orchestrated, soul purifying partner, sent to uncover the best version of you. No matter how much you pray for the Divine right mate, even if they do come into your life, the relationship will not survive unless you have prepared yourself for their arrival. Are you allowing God to lead and direct you or trying to figure it out on your own? Do you really know and love yourself? Are you ready for a committed marriage relationship or just feeling pressured into one? Are you settling for less than you deserve? Are you cultivating love in your soul for yourself, others and a future mate? Are you waking up to your destiny, your truth through inner confrontation? As you begin to soul search, you begin the awakening process, raising your consciousness and making way for the Divine right mate. I had the luxury of a slower time and lower earthly consciousness 30 years ago. My husband and I had the time and listened to our inner calling to elevate into a Divine marriage partnership through much trial and error. Today there is an urgency for people to raise their God-consciousness and to spiritually evolve. Time is of the essence. If one chooses to marry, the relationship can either greatly foster or greatly hinder the soul’s evolution. In these times it is of utmost importance to recognize who is and who isn’t the Divine right mate. If you are currently in a relationship, know you must look at these characteristics honestly. Any red flags that rise up in your spirit as you read are a sign that you mustn’t ignore. You may have to courageously end a mediocre or good relationship so that God can bring in an amazing Divinely appointed partner. If they are not your Divine right mate, you are not theirs either. Although it is hard and difficult you will be doing them a favor in the long run.
Numbers 1-10 will help you in this discernment.
Characteristics of a Divine Right Mate
#1 A Divine right mate will respect you, allowing you to be who you are right now and in the future. Without the foundation of respect, no relationship can prosper. They will respect the relationships you have developed with family and friends and encourage you to nurture those relationships. Are they respecting you in words and actions? Are they respectful and actively pursuing a relationship to those who are closest to you? Are they a uniter rather than a divider?
#2 A Divine right mate will honor you by loving you for no reason, not for your looks, success or strengths. They will understand your weaknesses and will challenge you to move out of your comfort zone and into your growth zone. Are they loving you for no reason and not for how you can complete them, for what you bring to the table or for what you can give them?
#3 A Divine right mate knows the importance of forgiveness, recognizing the freedom it brings to the soul. They are not above apologizing and they freely extend forgiveness to you and others. Are they asking for and extending forgiveness or are they harboring resentment and continually bringing up past wrongs and hurts? Do they take personal responsibility for their actions or do they make excuses and blame others?
#4 A Divine right mate understands that all relationships have seasons and the marriage union is sacred. Communication is of the utmost importance for thriving in every season. Can you speak your truth and express your feelings with freedom from fear, ridicule or abandonment?
#5 A Divine right mate won’t let you settle for less than what you can be. They will encourage and support you in career choices, personal and spiritual growth and following your dreams. They will have the courage to speak up, poke and provoke you when you have become stagnant, complacent, or have forgotten your truth. Who’s in your corner, a coach who inspires and motivates or a lobster who drags and holds you down ?
#6 A Divine right mate will use their voice to bring blessings to your life. Complimenting and encouraging you in public and private. They understand that words can be like honey to the soul, calling you forth and holding the space for the person that God created you to be. How are they speaking to you and about you on social media and to friends and family?
#7 The Divine right mate is aware of their shortcoming but still loves and accepts themselves. They are aware that they are a work in progress as are you. This awareness allows you the freedom to be yourself without the pressure of morphing into who they want you to be. Do you feel energized by who you are spending time with or feel drained from the nagging, complaining, arguing and people pleasing to keep the peace? Do you feel pressured to change your beliefs or behaviors?
#8 A Divine right mate is confident in who they are and is comfortable with strength and vulnerability.
A healthy self-esteem prevents co-dependence and allows for individuality in the relationship. Do you feel smothered, controlled or manipulated? Is your strength and vulnerability accepted and encouraged? Do you feel free to be your authentic self?
#9. A Divine right mate knows that they will fail you and you will fail them. It is through the awareness of your imperfections that each of you see your continuous need of God’s grace to heal and evolve yourselves and your marriage to the next best level. Are they making their relationship with God a priority? Are you praying together?
#10 A Divine right mate won’t be the same person you started dating, married, had children with, or who you celebrate every anniversary with. They have been and continue to grow and evolve themselves into the next best version of themselves. They will encourage and support you in doing the same. Are they continually in pursuit of evolving into the next best version of themselves and supporting you in doing the same?
The good news is that you don’t have to go out searching for the Divine right mate, just prepare yourself and hold this affirmation in your mind’s eye. The perfect Divine partner is already picked. He(She) will arrive in the right time and the right way. Whoever is right is already selected and will come.